Anything #2: Family

I used to really love christmas as a kid.  By and large I hate it now.  It’s the time of year.  The day is shorter, it is cold and now it’s just so commercial.  Coca Cola Santa is at every mall.  We now even have a day in November that is advertised as the busiest shopping day, where people get beaten up for toys and gadgets and trinkets.

Meaningless shit, in other words.

I didn’t used to feel this way.  I used to love Christmas.  I loved presents (who doesn’t at six years old?), but if I had to name my favorite part of the holiday, it was my family.  I got to spend time with all of them; my grandparents, uncles, mom and dad and my sister.  We were all there and doing things together.

My parents divorced around Christmas.   The thing I looked forward to was gone.  It’s never been the same since.

It’s funny.  I never get the time with my family I want to.  I never get to see them today unless it’s a rare occasion.  Yet I feel like I still care more than some families who live their whole lives together.   When I lived in Snowflake/Taylor, there was one family i knew that lived within a mile of each other, and only really got together Christmas time.  It just seemed so sad to me.  We all live different lives and stuff, and I get that, but this isn’t people that come into your life here and there – these are people you grew up with.  Why spend so far apart from them?

Not that my family situation is perfect.  I still don’t completely understand what to say to my mom anymore.  We live different lives and I never really know what’s going on with her.  It bothers me, but I know it’s her call on that.  I’m unhappy it’s this awkward, but maybe it’ll rectify itself sometime.  I gotta call my grandmother.  It’s been too long and I feel guilty as hell about it.

In spite of my own failings I still feel lucky.  My Christmas was Saturday.  I had Christmas with my sister.  We had dinner at Swiss Chalet and played cards.  I skunked her the first game – it was rummy and I just couldn’t lose.  In fact, I had such good hands that the average game lasted three turns.  At the end, she swore a lot (she does that anyways) and was freezing just giving me cards.  I just couldn’t lose.

We finally quit and started over and I couldn’t win.  It took a while – she never quite dominated like I did, but it balanced out.  She beat me by around the same amount I defeated her.  We then went into the car, listened to Britney spears, went to the movies and saw the Hobbit 2.  We talked, hung out, laughed and enjoyed ourselves.

That was my Christmas.   I have no regrets.  I wish the rest of my family was here, but I got to spend it with someone that mattered.  I think that is the real magic of the holiday.

I guess this is my way of saying that I hope you all have a good one, and that you remember to spend time with the people that matter, if you can.  There is the real magic of this time of year.  Who cares about the trees, decorations, gifts or eggnog or any of that other junk.  It’s just better to be with or in contact with the people you love.  I hope for that for each of you.

If you do have the chance, check out my book The Watcher at Smashwords right here:  If I were to have any other thing for this holiday it would be people buying, reading and enjoying my book.  Beyond that, I am content.

Have a Happy Holiday everyone.  Part 2 of my interview with the School of Bitches will be up by week’s end.  That’ll be it for the blog this year.  Thanks for all that read the interviews and content on here.  I hope to do more of the same and then some next year.   Be happy, healthy, and living.  I hope to see you all next year.


Published by jpantalleresco

I write and I wander. I am currently in Canada, tomorrow who is to say? I just released Veritas, my first comic, done with Craig Cermak and Jim Reddington. I currently write columns for and I have published essays, worked on magazines and movies and am working on my first novel, graphic novels and am planning on committing suicide on my first feature film. I chase my dreams wherever I may go. When I'm not writing I work on a day job and read, play video games and magic and chase girls. Sometimes I even catch them.

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