I headed out to acquire some sponsors today. No surprises so far, that no one has taken up our generous offer – none of the big companies anyways. I wish. I so wish. Instead I’m getting calls from a variety of interested parties. These people have loads and loads of money, which is great. Unfortunately, they are all insane.
Case in point, I have this one elderly gentleman who wishes for me to post an ad to contact his alien overlords from the planet Trogdor. I think this guy has watched too many online cartoons, but he does possess a large check book. I may have to take him seriously.
This poses I suppose a credibility issue. On the one hand I don’t want to appear like those cheap tabloid rags you buy at your grocery store. On the other hand, I wish I had that kind of circulation. One of the many challenges of producing a quality piece of art is finding the people that will support you. The question becomes what exactly do you want the final product to be.
With sponsors in an interesting place, I decided to torment myself with the slush pile. The slush pile is any editor’s worse nightmare. It’s like digging for a kernel of gold in a sea of shit. So many bad things are written. The problem with writing as an art form as I see it is that it is a skill many people use on a regular basis. So people believe that anybody can do this, unfortunately that includes most of my submissions.
I’ve seen bad poetry. I’m actually debating about collecting some of the sappiest and cheesiest into one volume and calling it Chloroform Rag. You read them and want to smother yourself in the stuff afterwards to prevent the brain damage that seeps in as a result. Ugh.
The other thing I keep seeing is that same twilight rip off. Now not to disrespect Stephanie Meyer but I kind of want to kill her. Not because she made vampires glittery. I really could care less if vampires are really fairies. That’s her own world of story telling and far be it from me to argue the merits of it. Instead I hate her for her clones.
And believe me, there are clones. Millions of them. They make spam on your email drive tolerable by comparison. I’ve seen stories where the main character ends up with the other one. I’ve read it that the boys end up with each other. I’ve read deux es machinas and finally, I’ve seen the ending where everyone dies – repeatedly. I admit to some amusement on the last fate of those particular characters, but not enough to publish it. So I’m going to say this now: this magazine is NOT interested in any such clones. Don’t even try it. If I see vampire or werewolf in the story at all, it’s almost a guaranteed failure.
Okay, rant over.
I got to see about some sponsors. Hope there will be good news the next time I type.