I normally don’t write these things down. I have an idea in my head and I do my best to move towards it the way I know about going. I keep asking myself a question with goal five and I thought let’s talk about things rationally here.
Goals one through four are writing and media goals. I’m hoping to have some announcements regarding a huge number of projects in the months to come. I plan on attending several cons and plan on growing as an artist and a person. Blah blah blah right? The last goal is a conundrum I feel I need to talk about.
Calgary has been great to me. Since I’ve come back I find myself making more money than I ever have, able to pursue my projects and by and large am working to get to all of my dreams. I’m surrounded by good people. Yet, I find myself hitting the ceiling. This year after working on several goals, I find myself facing down the very real possibility that the following year after that, that there will be no new ground for me to explore. The ceiling as I know it is creeping up on me.
I’ve never been completely comfortable in the city. This time has been far more enjoyable, but I find myself still quite unwilling to call this place my home. Because I realized that I can only go so much farther before the ceiling and me meet head on. Something’s gotta give.
What held me back is a clear lack of clarity of where to go next. That no longer is a barrier. I already know where I want to go. After the documentary (Goal Number 2!) I intend to move forward with exploring that possibility.
So the question I’m asking myself as I type this is why am I moving so much? The only answer I can think of is that as I get closer to my goals, things need to change. That means looking at other locations. I’ve been fortunate not needing to move for the last little while. Yet my goals beckon and I find that Calgary no longer quite has what I’m looking for.
So where do I go from here?
I’m going to keep that to myself for now. June is going to be interesting. That is all I can say about that.
Nemesis returns with the next entry. I also have a great interview lined up.